As a product manager, you need to work with engineering every day. Every product manager knows that this relationship is a delicate one. I use the word “delicate” because it is one of the most important relationships that a product manager needs to cultivate. The success of the product hinges on the strength of this critical relationship.
For anyone who has performed the role of a product manager, I am sure you understand how difficult building this relationship is. I sometimes tell people that it is easier to become best friends with your mother-in-law than becoming someone your engineering team will talk to. And unlike the case of the one off meetings that you have with your in-laws, you’ve got to live and work with your engineering team every day! So, how do you build this relationship?
In my own experience, the secret sauce for a highly successful relationship between you and your engineering team is a sense of mutual respect. You will need to earn the respect of your engineering team. An engineer is a problem solver with a scientific brain. This means that he questions everything he sees and everything you tell him. That’s a great thing – as it helps him solve problems. It is only natural that the engineer will question what you tell him are market requirements. Don’t understand that to be questioning your research or your competence. And don’t let your ego get in the way.
The engineer is as creative as you are – perhaps even more so. He gives your requirements the shape that you’d like to see and gets the product to behave the way you want it to. He’s the guy who teaches your old dog (your product) new tricks that you want it to learn. Therefore, it is essential that you recognize and respect the tough job that he has on his plate. There may be instances where he’ll tell you that your dog is just too old now to do cartwheels (build out some functionality that your customer wants) or that it will take a really long time to get it to do what you want it to do. It is here that you need to work on understanding his problem and solving it out for him.
The best way to handle tough situations where you and your engineering team seem to be at cross purposes is to work on co-creating the solution with them. Many times, product management and engineering seem to look like they’re at cross purposes with one another. But that is far from the truth. Both sincerely want the product to be successful. As long as that is the intent and it is well understood by all concerned and is made the overarching goal that supersedes everything else, there is very little chance that conflicts will present themselves or linger.
I’ve many times been part of intense product discussions about code level issues which I may not have full cognizance of. But just being there and understanding the challenges that the engineering team faces helps me recognize the limitations or the uphill tasks that are ahead of them. Sometimes, I also end up contributing to the discussion – suggesting alternatives, asking questions, breaking down myths or talking through the use case to see if alternate ways are possible to reach the same goal. Many times, we’ve found that I have added a lot of value to such design discussions.
I have noticed that once the engineering team begins to respect you, the relationship becomes very rewarding. Sure, there will be times when the engineering team does not understand your market message or objects to your generalization or taking some creative liberties. At such times, make the effort to talk them through your process…explain it to them why it is correct in the way that you say it. For example, your engineering team may object to your messaging – “No one can eat just one Lay’s potato chips is not really correct”, they may say. ”Anyone can – just that they won’t” will be their refrain. Talk them through your reasons, show them what your competition is doing and why you’re justified in making the assertions that you are indeed making. They’ll come around, appreciate your thought process and may even help you with great tips.
Remember, you are a team working towards a common cause. If you think you own the product, your engineering team owns it too. Work with that idea in mind and you’ll have an awesome relationship with your engineering team.
